January 20, 2015

Oh, hello.

Hello...dears.

I've wanted to share my faith more personally on the blog for some time, but to be honest I'm constantly asking God for peace and clarity. Thankfully, we have a kind + gentle Lord, who is very patient. Especially with me, the girl who doesn't get the clearest signs. (it's a real problem...oh gosh.) Anyway, bear with me, friends. I'm only good at writing + expressing myself when I'm joshing around (big surprise) so this is new. Be quick to forgive grammar mistakes, or all around uncertain sentences. Thank you. 

I was looking through old blog posts just minutes ago. And just a few months back I flipped through a couple of old journals from a year or two ago. (Y'know, the half finished ones..) 

And wow.

Just...wow. I've changed so much. I'm not talking about puberty. (although that was pretty interesting..heh..) Not even my personality. No, something much, much more important. My faith has changed. Grown. I've come a long, long way. And y'know what? He's been there.

Every single step of the way.
________________________________

With me during every heartache. Every cross. Every bad day, when all I wanted to do was punch a wall. He was with me during those moments when I was alone, trying not to cry..but failing miserably. I didn't want to appear weak, not even to myself. He was there when I was depressed. During the crazy stupid mood swings. When all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and be alone (can you imagine? Me? Wanting to be alone?!) 

He was also there during the joyous times in my life. When siblings were born, when I accomplished all of my homework (which I struggle with...a lot. #procrastinator) When I got to be out and about with people. Large crowds of people might scare some (and that's perfectly alright, I suppose.) but I feel at home around people. Even strangers. And of course those, happy..happy Sundays after mass. *happy sigh* I adore Sundays so much. Because hello.....JESUS. 

Isn't that incredible, though? He is there...every moment. He never abandons us. We just need to remember He's there, and speak to Him. Hug it out, spiritual style if that's your groove. ;) It's saddening when you think about how much we forget about him, or ignore him. It happens, to all of us. No matter how much of a saint you are, every human being has been angry or upset with God before, myself included. But there are two ways out of that situation. We can either become stubborn & bitter..and let our soul die, or we can make the best out of the worst. Because sometimes our hearts need to break before we can truly see, and understand God's grace. His love. We will never be perfectly happy in this world, so I'm going to stop trying to be. Yes, it's better to live a joyful life. But we will never be completely happy until we rest in Heaven with our eternal Father.

So have hope, dears. I'm praying for you.





14 comments :

  1. It is so beautiful to go back and see how much we've grown! How wonderful it is that you recognize these things happening in your spiritual life, because just like anything in life we have to acknowledge where we are to know where we are going. You are a beautiful soul Abbey!

    p.s. bonus points for inserting a JPII picture ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw thank you, Grace! You're quite the lovely soul as well. ♥

      Delete
  2. This was very encouraging and inspirational! God bless you!
    Grace

    theshortendofthings.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you, as well dear Grace! ♥

      Delete
  3. Lovely! I recently did a blog post in which I sorted through some of my old journals. My findings were very much the same! Through all the joy, pain, and heart ache - the Lord was right there. He was the only one on whom I can truly depend. It is such a mercy to be able to look back and see His working within us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I read that post, it was so lovely! Thank you for the comment, girl! ♥

      Delete
  4. abbey, this was absolutely beautiful. <3 <3 you are such a lovely soul!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Peregrin, your comments always make my day. You're a lovely lady ♥

      Delete
  5. This was beautiful, Abbey. It's amazing to know that he's with us always.

    ReplyDelete
  6. How true. And it's so encouraging to know that no matter what we go through, He is beside us every step of the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is..isn't it. ♥ What an amazing Lord we have!

      Delete