I have began writing countless times over the last few months...leaving half written thoughts in drafts. I feared of sharing too much, or not enough. But it's just that, fear. Nothing more, nothing less. When I sat down to write today, I felt confidence that I hadn't felt before. I can best describe it as an assured feeling that I am meant to write, I am meant to share. As dear Mother Teresa once stated...I am merely a pencil in the hands of God. I ask that He may lead my hands as they type what He has put on my heart.
I have gone through many challenges and changes in the last several months. I have had to bear more change than I ever thought I would in such a short amount of time, and that change has really challenged my faith. But through every change I am left astounded by the goodness of Jesus. I have always struggled with feeling like I do not belong, that there wasn't a place for me in the world. As a young child and into my adulthood I have tearfully begged God to place me where I could feel a sense of belonging. It has taken me years to learn, but I have realized that I do not belong anywhere in particular in this world. I have never fit in with anyone or anywhere in particular, simply because Jesus created my heart purely for his heavenly kingdom. Until I am in His arms, my mission is not to conform to this world but to share my heart with others and be a gift to the world. To not share my heart with a select few, but to anyone I meet. Mother Teresa also once said that a smile is the beginning of love, and I firmly believe that you can change the world by just doing that simple act. Take heart, for you were not meant for this world but meant for the arms of our eternal Father.